I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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