We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize