I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize