i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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