You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Are we still banned from the library?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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