id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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