literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
