you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
