Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
