Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
