Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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