Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
