VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
