what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
