i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh god it's open bar.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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