yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
