New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
