What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
