I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
