I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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