oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
