I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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