Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
