Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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