the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
