forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
