pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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