I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
