I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im six kinds of drunk right now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
