I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
