Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
