Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize