My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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