I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i dont even know how to be here
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
