I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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