bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
