when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
