theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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