Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
