Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
