also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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