are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
