fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
