remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
