the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
