Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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