yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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