Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
