he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
