she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize