i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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