No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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