i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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