well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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