it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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