he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
