Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
