We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize