Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
