thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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