anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize