That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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