my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
