I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hippo gnu deer
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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