onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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