she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
