...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
