so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You made out with two different species that night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
