ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
