Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
