Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
