White coat. Heels.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
