Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize