he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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