True but thats because hes a fetus.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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