You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
