Sry I called you an 8
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
