Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
