AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
