My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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