He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
