God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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