So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
